Cory Burell

For anyone who actually reads what I write I apologize. This is a course assignment for a class so my blog will have a few of these random posts in them.

This week was a bloghunter to find 3 blogs that we enjoyed and to post them here. Of course I’ve got to throw Easy E’s blog

www.evankroberts.com

Great site for overall news including some sports.

Next up is Scoog a loogs site which is

www.scottkellam.com

Great useful site for the apple guys out there

3rd is www.fantasyoption.com

This is a great blog about fantasy football.

A good wiki on ecu you will find at

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Carolina_University

Dear Forrest Gumps Mother,

Life is not like a fucking box of chocolates and quite frankly you know what to expect. So far life has a pretty even split between “wtf is this shit” and “happiness”. On any given day I can pretty much predict that at some point I’m going to want to flip out or hit something.

Love,

90% of the world

All joking aside it seems like I’ve come to a crossroads in my life where I’ve had to decide what the difference is between the big things and the small things in life are. This is kind of a “half empty” or “half full” debate going on inside of my mind. For instance you wake up in the morning and straight slam your toe into a wall. Well your bleeding all over the fucking carpet wondering how the hell your day is already shot to shit at 6am. The initial reaction in most people goes something like that. Shouldn’t we be happy that we had a place to bump our toe, a job to be getting up to, or legs to walk around blindly into walls with?

Earlier this week I was contacted and told one of the people we hung out some with in college died in a car accident earlier that week. His fiance, himself, and his 6 day old baby were hit by a train. Pretty much if you took the definition of awful and wrote a story about it you got this situation. They were taking their fucking 6 day old baby to get a check-up. Not sure how that affects everyone else but I have 2 kids and that makes me want to cry. In all honesty since I’ve become a father I’ve calmed down 200% on my activities and what I would call a level of danger in my life. That has always made me feel alittle more secure about hanging around for my kids. My dad died when I was 13 and it was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through. It really took years for me to get over it and since I’ve had my own boys its seemed to come up again. My dad was in a wheelchair for 2 years before he died and in hospitals for longer than that. Most of the stuff normal kids learned from their dads I learned from my own mistakes so its very hard for me to envision how to teach my kids things and have that true idea of how to be a good father. My father did tell me something and this was coming from a man that lost all power in his body but had the strongest mind of anyone I’ve ever met. He said “appreciate every day you have here”. I may not know exactly what to do for my children all the time but I know I need to do something.

Anyways I just took a 200 word tangent and I apologize to anyone reading this shit its mostly just a rambling as usual. But back to the point…..Life can stop at any point for any one of us and theres not a whole lot we can do to control it so where do we cut these lines of overall happiness and whats really happening in your life. Are we dicks if we don’t think about how lucky we are to walk? The answer is probably yes but do most of us think that way? NOPE! If I look at my life on paper I might be one of the luckiest guys period. I have a great job, a beautiful wife, and 2 great kids. On the flipside of that I’m probably one of the bipolar mother fuckers ever. I’m not saying that in a serious need medication kind of way but I def have my mood swings and it doesn’t take alot to piss me off.

After alot of thought I’ve become a lil more determined to accomplish some of the things I really want in life and I’m going to try and reach some of those long term goals. Some of you are probably sitting there saying O jesus christ heres another sloppy fucking reborn bullshit though process. Well I’m going to throw a twist in there and this is my spin on this. From here out I vow to myself to live life to the fullest. Thats not a “I’m going to enjoy everything” comment thats a “I’m going to live life” comment. Whats the difference? IMHO the full range of emotions are a part of the life. Fuck appreciating the leg……..I want to appreciate the emotion of being angry, I want to flip out when that toe is bleeding, and I want to feel the pain in life because if you don’t all of those great moments will start to lose that feeling of greatness.

[07:58] ClutchmasterCory: so you placing any bets on the app/lsu game?
[07:58] homebrew127: i dont think they will do it 2 years in a row
[07:59] ClutchmasterCory: I mean I was just seeing if youd cover the spread lol
[07:59] homebrew127: lsu isnt gonna be fucking around
[08:03] ClutchmasterCory: I wouldn’t think so
[08:03] ClutchmasterCory: I say the bet is app/lsu & ecu/vt. Who gets beat by more points
[08:04] homebrew127: haha
[08:04] homebrew127: i dont think app will get blown out
[08:04] ClutchmasterCory: well then its a good bet to take
[08:04] homebrew127: what do you want to bet
[08:04] ClutchmasterCory: I say a 6 pack of choice
[08:05] homebrew127: im in
[08:05] homebrew127: ecu is gonna get that ass slapped
[08:05] ClutchmasterCory: So just to make it clear. Whoevers team loses by the most buys the other a 6 pack
[08:05] homebrew127: im pickin a 6 pack of that 40 dollar beer at saucef
[08:05] homebrew127: r
[08:05] ClutchmasterCory: if ecu wins by 21 and app wins by 3 I still get the beer
[08:05] homebrew127: nooo
[08:06] ClutchmasterCory: yes
[08:06] homebrew127: waht if they both win
[08:06] ClutchmasterCory: then whoever wins by the most gets the beer obvs
[08:06] homebrew127: alright
[08:07] ClutchmasterCory: and we’ll cut the 6 pack off at 15 bucks
[08:07] ClutchmasterCory: lol
[08:07] homebrew127: haha
[08:08] ClutchmasterCory: done deal

Anheuser-Busch has officially been taken over by InBev which some might find more familiar as the brewer of Stella. Yes thats right……the American dream team of “premium” beers has been taken over by a foreign company. Will my beloved Clydesdale’s be substituted for german beer wenches? That I might not complain about and while the US operations of this company and its employees are supposed to remain intact in my mind it just frustrates me. Other than a nice full bodied bud when playing beer pong I really don’t seem to drink that much of their products but it was an American company producing American beer which I have 100% support for. 52billion dollars are swapping hands on this deal and while I would love to see some new beers in the local grocery store I can’t help but shed a tear for this. Almost 150 years ago Anheuser-Busch was bought and 16 years later the first budweiser was produced. Thats over 130 years of budweiser coming from an American company and I think this should be a day of mourning. Just one more thing we lost control of no matter how insignifigant it will end up  being.

So Friday has been a trip and its only 8:30. I’ve been so lucky as to be training a new hire with zero experience. Basically this kid has a head bigger than Tommy Lee but the brains of Jessica Simpson. Yesterday in my facebook away message I put “I wonder if people are really this dumb or if its just a trick”. Today I sit down in my office and check my email. Yep you have a facebook message from Kayla Pisano……..o boy o goody o lucky me. The excitement literally made my fingers twitch with joy and it must have taken me 5 or 6 tries to even get my password in. OMFG FINALLY I CAN READ THIS MESSAGE. Here is the content and for some of you just go ahead and get the tissues out and possibly a change of underwear.

this is in response to ur quote on ur pro. somtimes i think ppl are just dumb but then other time i think ppl pretent to be bumb just to get attention. i know ppl that do that. well its ok i think i would rather deal with bumb ppl then ppl who just say one thing and do another. like ppl who say are going to hang out and then set a day and then never do. kind of anoyin! well i bet ur going to the weddin this weekend with eveyone else. have fun

WHAT IN THE FLYING MONKEY FUCKS IS THAT? You may be thinking well maybe she was on drugs, maybe her hand is broken, or maybe she just woke up from a 3 year coma. Well sorry folks this is for real and it actually confirmed my theory that people really are this retarded. Thank you Kayla for beginning my day with a smile………..

And for real this wasn’t a joke!

So about a month ago Evan/I were talking about the boboness of the beer pong table that was being used. I was put in charge of a momentous task which was building a table capable of outdoing my skill in beer pong. After many sleepless nights it finally came to me. I needed to create something that was so badass it cast a shadow over us. What in the world could do suck a thing? ONLY 2 things have ever achieved this goal…..scarface and Resovior dogs. Since we aren’t slinging coke out of the backyards had to go with the dogs. These were some bad mofo’s. Here is the creation that came.

Just to give everyone a slightly skewed piece of history we’ll start with a lesson on hippies. Now while this may not be 100% objective its fairly factual. In the 60′s universities actually studied lsd by giving it out to students and began a generation of mind explorers. The Haight Ashbury community outside of San Fransisco became a haven for these people. Bus tours traveled the US in the forms of “Acid parties” which had bands play such as the dead, etc. These were supposed to be safe places to trip and also turned into the modern day version of a 10 hour orgy. These people insisted that the mind could be expanded and that their was more to life. We all needed to expand our minds and not do shit else but fuck. Groups began to feed these people and community housing (basically free shitholes) came about. Super idea imho. Lets not work, get high, and sleep in a bed that 10 other people had fucked in that same day. It doesn’t sound fucking sick to me.

So after awhile this whole thing caught on around the country and people started bussing in. Well there goes the fun right? Nope not a chance…….now we’ll just have more sex and less food but the drugs will keep it real. In 1971 the drug lsd was made an illegal substance and the hippies were struck a solid blow. Today we have the wannabe hippies. Like their moms were lil whores getting her salad toosed around by 15 guys also on drugs who hadn’t showered in a week and now they wanted to be just like her. Look girls if you want to slut it up for drugs get into corporate America. The coke is better, people shower, and you get a benz at the end of the day not a 20 year old honda with a grateful dead bumper sticker.

Now don’t get me wrong people I love me some phish and the dead but its just the fucking people that kill me. In my mind you had your fucking chance to take over the world with your filth and you failed. In my mind dictatorship is one step above the hippy thought process. Lets say you have 20k people in a small town. 19000 of them take the day and tripp balls and get laid. Sweet! 12 hours passes and now they are all fucking hungry. “DUDE WHERES THE FOOD MAN?”. Well there is none. No one was making any money to buy it, no one was working to produce it, and no one was even there to cook it. You were just all too god damned stoned. Now you live in room with 15 other people with nothing to show but a fucking cot……CONGRATS! Half of you reading this are calling me either

A) a moron

or

B) a psycho

Well B maybe true but A was still part of the history lesson. It all happened. Hippies pushing an their agenda is the equivilent of someone calling for the second rising of the nazi’s. No one likes a fucking nazi unless you are one so why like a fucking hippy. I mean hell they even smell worse than a nazi. Me personally I don’t wanna live in Pot land or acidland or wherever the fucking your capital is so get the shit out of here.

Why can’t you shower? Are you afraid of wasting water?

Why can’t you wear something thats not tie dyed? Tie Dye is only funny 2 hours into a tripp and unless you are on drugs its ugly as shit.

Btw I don’t think its a fucking coincidence that hippies rode in vw bugs. They were the new version of nazis and wanted to pimp out the german badge. So in closing if you are a hippy please remember………you’ve already failed, you are not in 1960, and no one is going to feed or house your ass when you turn into a useless fuck.  Thanks and have a great day!

You guys have to know the person I’m talking about. I’m pointing out that single asshole in line at the gas station who is buying 52 lottery tickets. This type of person has a very special place in my heart. I especially love trying to pay for gas or a drink and waiting while they pick out these tickets. “Lets see I’ll take ummmmmm 1 of the $1 yellow tickets and ummmmmmm 2 of the 1$ red tickets……no make that 3″ and so on and so on. Some people might say well you don’t have to sit there and deal with it. Your absolutely fucking right. I could just walk  back outside to my car and drive to the next station but knowing my luck these lil white trash honkies would have multiplied and I’d have to deal with 2 toothless fucks trying to pull a million out of their asses at the next store. ORRRRRRRRRR I could just flip the fuck out right there, pull out a grenade, and blow the fucking gas station up. Ok not really but I just want to see if the FBI shows up at my house for saying that. May I also add dirka dirka jihad bitch.

On a more serious note though its not intelligent people trying to buy these tickets its the completely moronic sons of bitches that take 45 minutes to pick out what ketchup stained t shirt they were going to wear that day. Think this sounds angry? I just sat for 10 minutes and listened to some crackhead order off 36 dollars of lottery tickets 1 by 1 and then he proceeded to start scratching them off at the counter. Are you fucking shitting me? Go scratch that shit off in your trailer or did you have to sell that for the fucking lottery tickets?

So I started thinking about these people who are so completely drawn into lottery tickets. We don’t have gambling here in NC atleast not card rooms. If I want to go play real cards I have to drive to Atlantic City. Its ok people thats only 500 miles to go play cards for real money but don’t worry people can blow off their paychecks at the gas station here in good Ol’ NC. I completely understand that its meant to help schools……etc and while I’m guilty of buying a powerball ticket when it gets over 100m but do we really need these people tossing away money? Just once I want to see the numbers of how much people on welfare/gov’t assistance have spent on the lottery. Most of us reading this pay for these people and I don’t mean that in a helping way. I mean we pay for them. We pay for the ghetto to live. SOLUTIONS ANYONE?

So heres my idea. A few years ago I went to go get a tattoo. I believe it was my 16th birthday. After a few shots of vodka and some other substances I was ready to roll in with my brand new shitty fake id and get the tattoo. Fill out all the paperwork and the guy scanned my id. I WAS THE FAIL! So why can’t we put this information regarding govt assistance in files and make people get their id scanned when purchasing. Just make it flat out illegal for them to buy them. If they are caught then bam……off the programs. Yes I’m fully aware that they would just have friends buy them……..yes I’m fully aware that it wouldn’t help that much but it would keep them out of my line and quite frankly in this rant that is my main concern.

So do me a huge favor. Next time you see a person pulling this mass purchase crap on tickets just pelvic punch the shit out of them for me. In fact I’ll put a bounty out. For every person that coochy/cock punches someone for jamming up a line with this shit I will personally give them 10 lottery tickets (bought in one singular request of course). I do however require evidence but I will post the evidence. Thanks guys.

So for those of you who know me I tend to find the wtf’s in the world pretty often. I won’t lie………I find alot of things out there fubar’d so for the next 100 days I will post 1 thing that pisses me off starting today.

100) So I head up to the store on downtime to grab a drink. Normally this involves a Mt.Dew and a honeybun just to get that extra boost for the last 3 hours of work. Taking a look around and wtf is this stuff. There is a full cooler door of energy drinks. What do you want………Red Bull, Monster, Mt.Dew,  Rockstar, full throttle, and a slew of other brands all of which have 22 different flavors. Did you know that energy drinks brought in over 2.5 billion dollars last year?

Ginseng, Caffeine,  Guarana, and a shitload of sugar. Woot lets party people. Do you remember when people told you coke was bad for you. Heres your wake up call. One 16oz can of Amp contains 58 grams of sugar! HOLY SHIT! I’m jacked just thinking about it. Now lets throw some crap in there that we can’t even pronounce and call it good for you. MORE ENERGY, SHARPER MIND, AND DON’T FORGET THE POSSIBILITY OF A 4 HOUR HARD ON when combined with vodka (assuming the girl doesn’t look like whale). While I applaud the industry for giving me exactly what I need to drink jager without the feer of dozing off can we just stop this garbage? I mean its crack. We banned ephedra from our diet pills but now you gotta look out for the pissy secretary with a case of withdrawls.

This may not sound like a rant but how about instead of pumping our bodies full of crap we eat an apple……..maybe even work alittle less. The world is so hyped up that it has no time to slow down. What happened to taking a long deep breath and just relaxing for a moment? What happened to sunday picnics after church and sleeping in on saturdays. In my opinion lets strip all this crap off the shelves and instead of running to the store on your afternoon break for a sugar saturated “crack in a can” drink you stretch, eat some fruit, and take a short walk.