Cory Burell

You guys have to know the person I’m talking about. I’m pointing out that single asshole in line at the gas station who is buying 52 lottery tickets. This type of person has a very special place in my heart. I especially love trying to pay for gas or a drink and waiting while they pick out these tickets. “Lets see I’ll take ummmmmm 1 of the $1 yellow tickets and ummmmmmm 2 of the 1$ red tickets……no make that 3″ and so on and so on. Some people might say well you don’t have to sit there and deal with it. Your absolutely fucking right. I could just walk  back outside to my car and drive to the next station but knowing my luck these lil white trash honkies would have multiplied and I’d have to deal with 2 toothless fucks trying to pull a million out of their asses at the next store. ORRRRRRRRRR I could just flip the fuck out right there, pull out a grenade, and blow the fucking gas station up. Ok not really but I just want to see if the FBI shows up at my house for saying that. May I also add dirka dirka jihad bitch.

On a more serious note though its not intelligent people trying to buy these tickets its the completely moronic sons of bitches that take 45 minutes to pick out what ketchup stained t shirt they were going to wear that day. Think this sounds angry? I just sat for 10 minutes and listened to some crackhead order off 36 dollars of lottery tickets 1 by 1 and then he proceeded to start scratching them off at the counter. Are you fucking shitting me? Go scratch that shit off in your trailer or did you have to sell that for the fucking lottery tickets?

So I started thinking about these people who are so completely drawn into lottery tickets. We don’t have gambling here in NC atleast not card rooms. If I want to go play real cards I have to drive to Atlantic City. Its ok people thats only 500 miles to go play cards for real money but don’t worry people can blow off their paychecks at the gas station here in good Ol’ NC. I completely understand that its meant to help schools……etc and while I’m guilty of buying a powerball ticket when it gets over 100m but do we really need these people tossing away money? Just once I want to see the numbers of how much people on welfare/gov’t assistance have spent on the lottery. Most of us reading this pay for these people and I don’t mean that in a helping way. I mean we pay for them. We pay for the ghetto to live. SOLUTIONS ANYONE?

So heres my idea. A few years ago I went to go get a tattoo. I believe it was my 16th birthday. After a few shots of vodka and some other substances I was ready to roll in with my brand new shitty fake id and get the tattoo. Fill out all the paperwork and the guy scanned my id. I WAS THE FAIL! So why can’t we put this information regarding govt assistance in files and make people get their id scanned when purchasing. Just make it flat out illegal for them to buy them. If they are caught then bam……off the programs. Yes I’m fully aware that they would just have friends buy them……..yes I’m fully aware that it wouldn’t help that much but it would keep them out of my line and quite frankly in this rant that is my main concern.

So do me a huge favor. Next time you see a person pulling this mass purchase crap on tickets just pelvic punch the shit out of them for me. In fact I’ll put a bounty out. For every person that coochy/cock punches someone for jamming up a line with this shit I will personally give them 10 lottery tickets (bought in one singular request of course). I do however require evidence but I will post the evidence. Thanks guys.

So for those of you who know me I tend to find the wtf’s in the world pretty often. I won’t lie………I find alot of things out there fubar’d so for the next 100 days I will post 1 thing that pisses me off starting today.

100) So I head up to the store on downtime to grab a drink. Normally this involves a Mt.Dew and a honeybun just to get that extra boost for the last 3 hours of work. Taking a look around and wtf is this stuff. There is a full cooler door of energy drinks. What do you want………Red Bull, Monster, Mt.Dew,  Rockstar, full throttle, and a slew of other brands all of which have 22 different flavors. Did you know that energy drinks brought in over 2.5 billion dollars last year?

Ginseng, Caffeine,  Guarana, and a shitload of sugar. Woot lets party people. Do you remember when people told you coke was bad for you. Heres your wake up call. One 16oz can of Amp contains 58 grams of sugar! HOLY SHIT! I’m jacked just thinking about it. Now lets throw some crap in there that we can’t even pronounce and call it good for you. MORE ENERGY, SHARPER MIND, AND DON’T FORGET THE POSSIBILITY OF A 4 HOUR HARD ON when combined with vodka (assuming the girl doesn’t look like whale). While I applaud the industry for giving me exactly what I need to drink jager without the feer of dozing off can we just stop this garbage? I mean its crack. We banned ephedra from our diet pills but now you gotta look out for the pissy secretary with a case of withdrawls.

This may not sound like a rant but how about instead of pumping our bodies full of crap we eat an apple……..maybe even work alittle less. The world is so hyped up that it has no time to slow down. What happened to taking a long deep breath and just relaxing for a moment? What happened to sunday picnics after church and sleeping in on saturdays. In my opinion lets strip all this crap off the shelves and instead of running to the store on your afternoon break for a sugar saturated “crack in a can” drink you stretch, eat some fruit, and take a short walk.