Cory Burell

I apologize ahead of time if this post is long winded. I was recently out of town and decided to have a beer with a friend. I’ve known this guy for a few years and while on the quirky side he is generally a really good person. His friends are alittle on the weird side but who doesn’t have a few strange friends. Something was said that really twerked me as some sissy shit to say and I responded with a “dude that was pretty gay”. I turn around and all of a sudden I can feel 2 eyes peircing my skull like a buckshot into a watermelon. Excuse my description but it was a black guy around 5’10″ and was wearing a fairly “light in the loafers” attire. This guy starts shaking his head in disrespect. After back and forth banter over showing some respect I retire to the bar just thinking the guy was retardedly drunk or just shot up alil too much EMO that night. Turns out the guy is gay and took offense to my comment.

I know this really isn’t a race ordeal yet so please bare with me I’m getting there. The guy that I originally showed up to have a beer with joins me at the bar and alerts me that the guy is just sensitive and because he is part of two minorities he just gets tired of it. As the trivia board says……………..HERE WE GO. Why would you think about your race/sexual orientation as a deciding factor on how you conduct your everyday life. I don’t consider my sexual orientation nor my race a part of my personality or my behavior. I’m straight and white. Maybe that makes me the “norm” but its who I am. If I was black and gay I doubt you would know just by talking to me (obviously disregarding the obvious……hey Im black now statement). People pick out gay people by actions not pure personality. No where in your basic inherit personality does it say to stick your pinkey in the air. As for being black well shit a large majority of places you are the “norm”. So we get down to the basic principle that people overreact to their own insecurities about who they are and what they do. Again with that said I am white and straight so maybe its different but I dont ever recall having to struggle with who I am. If you struggle with yourself thats just a personal problem and you can keep that shit in the closet (pun intended).

So back to the main topic. We’ve concluded that being black shouldn’t be a mindset but mearly a history. I dont walk around hating people because I’m Irish. “JESUS THE IRISH WERE OPPRESSED. Damn drunken Irish and their fucking potatos”. You just dont hear it. So why exactly when I turn on my TV is there a BET? I know its a typical comeback but where the fuck is the WET? Everytime I turn around it seems like some member of the black community is raising hell over a race issue. Al SHARPTON CAN SUCK MY FUCKING DICK. RDU was just the center of the Duke lacrosse issue. All of a sudden a rape was a race issue. Yes I know there was some alleged “racial comments” made torwards the girl, but come on………..what girl isnt raped without some sort of taunting. In my personal opinion I would rather be called a race than a slut or peice of shit. I’m proud of who I am so why is calling someone “black” a reason to go up in arms. We have the NAACP raising hell at any cost, minorities getting into schools without proper qualifications, and the same going on with jobs. As a person I wouldn’t want my “race” to be perceived in any fashion to be unequally evauluated. You have a few people given oppourtunities they don’t deserve and an overall judgement of those people is probably going to follow. Maybe saying that within this post is a piece of hypocricy but o well its how it is. Why is it that the only people who won’t call all this race bullshit ended is the african american population. I don’t see asians screaming out for more jobs, education, and etc and quite honestly yes there are some racist white people, but it seems the whites outcry is more focused around what I like to call “the new racism”. This encompasses all the problems I addressed above.

I just want to wake up tommorow and everyone be one fucking color. That way if you are lazy or judgemental you could just be ignored without the idle ramblings of race. If you are poor you can work harder. If you are borderline retarded then you are probably gonna be doing manual labor. I did manual labor for years and it honestly doesnt pay that bad. If you are intelligent there would be nothing there to stop you from whatever you wanted to do in life but yourself. So tommorow why don’t we one at a time start seeing gray, blue, green……………….shit just pick a fucking color and stick with it.

So upon the reveal of my little rant about ex’s an ex of mine read the story. Well as the irony builds I was once the victim of a “hate on the ex” story. Unlike my small little rant here I was burned in an article written by Christin Liverance in the N.C. State Technician. Here is a small portion of that story:

In the world of dating, opposites repel

Christin Liverance

Staff Columnist

Every girl has had at least one relationship with a guy that was her polar opposite. It may have been the traditional bad boy with a fast car and an earring, a hip-hop thug wannabe from the North Raleigh “hood” with baggy pants and misplaced racial identity, an artsy vegetarian with a bumper sticker that says “Ask me about stealing people’s essence!” or a fun-loving cowboy with a restless streak. We know deep down that these relationships are destined for failure from the very beginning, but there is something absolutely thrilling about exploring the existence of an individual that has nothing in common with us.

Sadly, I’ve engaged in these types of relationships all my life. I’m just learning that despite any initial attraction I may have towards the rebel-without-a-cause types, I need to look for someone that compliments my mellow and conservative demeanor.

In high school I dated the wrong guy because I really was naïve. No one actually looks for a boyfriend that is just like them. We don’t even know who we are yet. Political beliefs? Individual opinions that differ from our friend’s? Never heard of ‘em. Girls look for someone that’s cute, popular, and has a driver’s license.

So, I dated “Cliff.” My father loathed this boy. In fact, half of the population of Raleigh shared his feelings of hatred in regards to this young menace and I couldn’t imagine why. I was convinced I’d discovered his sweet and gentle core hidden beneath the solid shell of rebellion and attitude.

I’ll admit, Cliff was a bit of trouble-maker. He talked back to teachers, smoked Marlboros at lunch time, and sped around town in his Jeep with music blaring and sub-woofers throbbing. I on the other hand, had never seen the inside of the principal’s office. I’d perhaps tried cigarettes once or twice, if I went over the speed limit it was only by 3-5 miles, and at lunch time I joined my girlfriends off-campus at Bojangles for some chicken ‘n biscuits.

On our first date, Cliff took me to dinner and then to get my bellybutton pierced at a shady little tattoo parlor. I was the coolest girl I knew. Subconsciously, I was excited when I told people at school that I was dating Cliff and they gasped and fainted on the linoleum. I had never been the popular girl and suddenly everyone at our school knew who I was dating.

Cliff and I broke up just before we graduated and summer set in. I didn’t understand until years later, when I tried to date Cliff a second time, and then a third, why he was completely wrong for me. FYI: Screaming matches that take place over the phone every night aren’t normal and your stupid boyfriend should come to see <I>you</I> at least once in a blue moon instead of expecting you to drive an hour and a half to see him all the damn time. You know?!

We actually had a strong yet rocky relationship. We continued to date on and off for awhile and I’ll always love her as a good friend even though we don’t really see/speak often now. I guess my hate isn’t just an isolated incident for “Cliff” but instead is a general feeling that comes from certain relationships where strong feelings were involved. My last comments go out to one Christin Liverance whom I know will read this Story……….
It seems as though we are more alike in how we think than you may have ever thought. Just remember you are not always who you see yourself as. I will throw out a half hearted apology to the person I wrote this about but I ask for Christin to come out and give one too : ) . Im just kidding about that but it was actually funny to remember this being written years ago after I just blasted someone. Christin you were a special part of my life and I would never take it back and hopefully you feel the same way. I really don’t expect a response b/c I probably wouldn’t do the same if asked but I understand where you were coming from if that means anything.

update: Received Im
SummerGirl** (5:30:07 PM): no, i never thought we were a mistake
SummerGirl** (5:30:13 PM): i loved you very much for a very long time
SummerGirl** (5:30:19 PM): and i would never take that back
SummerGirl** (5:28:32 PM): it was me taking some of the more painful experiences and trying to have fun with them
SummerGirl** (5:28:39 PM): i never regretted dating you
SummerGirl** (5:28:42 PM): loving you
SummerGirl** (5:28:44 PM): any of that
SummerGirl** (5:28:56 PM): and i did like when i told people i was dating you and they fainted

Ok so for the past few days I have been taunted by thoughts of a particular ex-girlfriend. This is unusual for me due to my general “whatever” attitude accompanied with the fact that I haven’t seen any of these women for over a year. Now don’t get me wrong here……….I’m not talking about any thoughts sexually. This was a pure hatred that swept my body just from hearing the name. I was drawn into this pissy mood based on the pure mention of a name. I could only compare the hate to the feeling you get towards a recent ex, but in this case years later. I had to figure out what was going on so I consulted a friend. After the conversation I stumbled onto a thought that might only apply to myself but I feel might transfer into other people’s lives. I don’t hate this woman because of the ugly break up or the things that were said afterwards. I hate this woman based on the fact that it didn’t work out because of her. For once I wasn’t to blame completely on a failed relationship. Granted at points I was definatly an asshole and treated her like a bad case of the creamed corn shits…….but that was besides the point. This ex was particularly content with me treating her like shit. I think I could have bent her best friend over right in front of her and laying some serious pain into her ass. What got to me was the fact that she let me do this to her. I had put all this time into a relationship and then at the end I find out she isn’t the person I thought she was. She always claimed to be so strong and then showed she had no spine. She never strived to impove herself nor did she have any goals at all. Granted at the time my idea of fun was “lets down a case of bud and play some pong” but I also went to school, worked, and had goals. This individuals idea of a life aspiration was “I wanna be a pretty pretty princess”. I felt deceived and whether I had been completely honest with her is out of the realm of importance. Maybe this was someone upstairs poking me just alil bit and saying “Hey this is 8lb 9oz baby Jesus and this is a taste of your own medicine”. Maybe I finally understood the deception I had been feeding women for years. Either way I wanted to punch something. So I guess what I’m getting at is that we hate people for so many more reasons than we think. Most of the time its just something simple like “She’s a cunt” or “Thats an ugly bitch” but in this case it was because I got a taste of my own medicine by being deceived. So before we all start wars with our former counterparts why don’t we start thinking about why we really hate them. And may I add the disclaimer if any of my other ex’s are reading this:

This story was not about you and I still think you are cunt. I still don’t want to talk to you and may I add “BITCH STFU”