Cory Burell

Just to give everyone a slightly skewed piece of history we’ll start with a lesson on hippies. Now while this may not be 100% objective its fairly factual. In the 60′s universities actually studied lsd by giving it out to students and began a generation of mind explorers. The Haight Ashbury community outside of San Fransisco became a haven for these people. Bus tours traveled the US in the forms of “Acid parties” which had bands play such as the dead, etc. These were supposed to be safe places to trip and also turned into the modern day version of a 10 hour orgy. These people insisted that the mind could be expanded and that their was more to life. We all needed to expand our minds and not do shit else but fuck. Groups began to feed these people and community housing (basically free shitholes) came about. Super idea imho. Lets not work, get high, and sleep in a bed that 10 other people had fucked in that same day. It doesn’t sound fucking sick to me.

So after awhile this whole thing caught on around the country and people started bussing in. Well there goes the fun right? Nope not a chance…….now we’ll just have more sex and less food but the drugs will keep it real. In 1971 the drug lsd was made an illegal substance and the hippies were struck a solid blow. Today we have the wannabe hippies. Like their moms were lil whores getting her salad toosed around by 15 guys also on drugs who hadn’t showered in a week and now they wanted to be just like her. Look girls if you want to slut it up for drugs get into corporate America. The coke is better, people shower, and you get a benz at the end of the day not a 20 year old honda with a grateful dead bumper sticker.

Now don’t get me wrong people I love me some phish and the dead but its just the fucking people that kill me. In my mind you had your fucking chance to take over the world with your filth and you failed. In my mind dictatorship is one step above the hippy thought process. Lets say you have 20k people in a small town. 19000 of them take the day and tripp balls and get laid. Sweet! 12 hours passes and now they are all fucking hungry. “DUDE WHERES THE FOOD MAN?”. Well there is none. No one was making any money to buy it, no one was working to produce it, and no one was even there to cook it. You were just all too god damned stoned. Now you live in room with 15 other people with nothing to show but a fucking cot……CONGRATS! Half of you reading this are calling me either

A) a moron

or

B) a psycho

Well B maybe true but A was still part of the history lesson. It all happened. Hippies pushing an their agenda is the equivilent of someone calling for the second rising of the nazi’s. No one likes a fucking nazi unless you are one so why like a fucking hippy. I mean hell they even smell worse than a nazi. Me personally I don’t wanna live in Pot land or acidland or wherever the fucking your capital is so get the shit out of here.

Why can’t you shower? Are you afraid of wasting water?

Why can’t you wear something thats not tie dyed? Tie Dye is only funny 2 hours into a tripp and unless you are on drugs its ugly as shit.

Btw I don’t think its a fucking coincidence that hippies rode in vw bugs. They were the new version of nazis and wanted to pimp out the german badge. So in closing if you are a hippy please remember………you’ve already failed, you are not in 1960, and no one is going to feed or house your ass when you turn into a useless fuck.  Thanks and have a great day!

You guys have to know the person I’m talking about. I’m pointing out that single asshole in line at the gas station who is buying 52 lottery tickets. This type of person has a very special place in my heart. I especially love trying to pay for gas or a drink and waiting while they pick out these tickets. “Lets see I’ll take ummmmmm 1 of the $1 yellow tickets and ummmmmmm 2 of the 1$ red tickets……no make that 3″ and so on and so on. Some people might say well you don’t have to sit there and deal with it. Your absolutely fucking right. I could just walk  back outside to my car and drive to the next station but knowing my luck these lil white trash honkies would have multiplied and I’d have to deal with 2 toothless fucks trying to pull a million out of their asses at the next store. ORRRRRRRRRR I could just flip the fuck out right there, pull out a grenade, and blow the fucking gas station up. Ok not really but I just want to see if the FBI shows up at my house for saying that. May I also add dirka dirka jihad bitch.

On a more serious note though its not intelligent people trying to buy these tickets its the completely moronic sons of bitches that take 45 minutes to pick out what ketchup stained t shirt they were going to wear that day. Think this sounds angry? I just sat for 10 minutes and listened to some crackhead order off 36 dollars of lottery tickets 1 by 1 and then he proceeded to start scratching them off at the counter. Are you fucking shitting me? Go scratch that shit off in your trailer or did you have to sell that for the fucking lottery tickets?

So I started thinking about these people who are so completely drawn into lottery tickets. We don’t have gambling here in NC atleast not card rooms. If I want to go play real cards I have to drive to Atlantic City. Its ok people thats only 500 miles to go play cards for real money but don’t worry people can blow off their paychecks at the gas station here in good Ol’ NC. I completely understand that its meant to help schools……etc and while I’m guilty of buying a powerball ticket when it gets over 100m but do we really need these people tossing away money? Just once I want to see the numbers of how much people on welfare/gov’t assistance have spent on the lottery. Most of us reading this pay for these people and I don’t mean that in a helping way. I mean we pay for them. We pay for the ghetto to live. SOLUTIONS ANYONE?

So heres my idea. A few years ago I went to go get a tattoo. I believe it was my 16th birthday. After a few shots of vodka and some other substances I was ready to roll in with my brand new shitty fake id and get the tattoo. Fill out all the paperwork and the guy scanned my id. I WAS THE FAIL! So why can’t we put this information regarding govt assistance in files and make people get their id scanned when purchasing. Just make it flat out illegal for them to buy them. If they are caught then bam……off the programs. Yes I’m fully aware that they would just have friends buy them……..yes I’m fully aware that it wouldn’t help that much but it would keep them out of my line and quite frankly in this rant that is my main concern.

So do me a huge favor. Next time you see a person pulling this mass purchase crap on tickets just pelvic punch the shit out of them for me. In fact I’ll put a bounty out. For every person that coochy/cock punches someone for jamming up a line with this shit I will personally give them 10 lottery tickets (bought in one singular request of course). I do however require evidence but I will post the evidence. Thanks guys.