How to keep your balls: an instructional guide to relationships

I would highly recommend this to a few individuals. A few of us married guys have talked over and over again about the mistakes guys make. Granted we aren’t perfect but we eat, breathe, and shit a 24-7 relationship. Recently a friend of ours has gotten back together with his ex. Now first off there is usually a reason a woman is an ex and you have to remember that. Somewhere in your mind you found a pretty good reason for that relationship to end in the first place so why go down the road again. There is only 3 possible answers to that question.

1) You are running dry on strange- Your penis requires a cave to sleep in and 5 finger sally is sick of your bullshit.

2) You broke up for alternative strange and now that strange is gone/tainted- You thought you could do better but well it didnt work out.

3) You have resolved the issues that caused the downfall of the relationship- I commonly found myself rationalizing a reunion because I felt the issues were resolved when in actuality I just fucking forgot how bad it really was.

Now back to the story. The guy breaks up with the girl and now they are back together. Reasons for break up:

1) no time for friends

2) distance

3) not sure but Im sure there was more than 2.

So they get back together and whoops yet again no time for friends. Lots of weak ass excuses come into play and he’s back to square 1. The second is solved by her moving in with him. SHEW thats a great idea. Take the girl you just broke up with and move in with her……….BRILLIANT. I mean come on guys how about you use that fucking brain that is 3 feet above your dick instead of the common mistake which is to actually think WITH YOUR DICK.

BRO’S BEFORE HO’S

Its a simple principle. Your friends will be there for you forever but bitches (other than your wife) will come and go. If you get married or have a live in girlfriend there is a realization that you have to come to. THAT PERSON IS GOING TO BE THERE FOR A LONG FUCKING TIME. You will burnout and there will be arguments that will eventually lead to the demise of the relationship so grow a fucking sack and say “HEY BITCH I’M GOING OUT”.

I guess my point is that its ok to think with your dick in bed but think with your head the rest of the time and remember the friends you have.